top of page
Photo of Harriet Holroyd

Clinical Psychologist and EMDR Therapist 
Breastfeeding Grief and Trauma
Infant Feeding Psychology
Birth Trauma

Perinatal Trauma

Providing you with a confidential space to explore and heal from the difficulties you have experienced or are experiencing with birthing and feeding your baby.

Many mothers are not being supported to reach their infant feeding goals, resulting in psychological distress even many years later. It can be hard to come to terms with this. If this resonates with you, I may be able to help.

I am a Clinical Psychologist based in Essex. Infant feeding has become an area of special interest for me, and I am extremely passionate about mothers being supported before, during and after their infant feeding journey (no matter how you wanted to feed your baby). I offer assessment and evidence-based treatments to parents who have been psychologically impacted by their experience of feeding their baby (even if this experience was a long time ago).

There are many methods of feeding a baby, including breastfeeding/ chest-feeding, feeding expressed milk, donated human milk or formula via a bottle, supplementary feeding system or tube or any combination of these. All of these methods of feeding are important. However, what matters is whether you were supported to feed your baby how you wanted to and for as long as you wanted to. 

  Together, we can…. 

Make Sense Of What Happened

Together we can consider the different factors that contributed to your infant feeding journey. For example, if you had wanted to breastfeed but were unable to, it is not your fault; you were let down by a system that was supposed to support you. Together we can understand what happened. Or perhaps your baby required tube feeding, meaning you did not get the feeding journey you had planned and hoped for. Making sense of what happened and your feelings around this will be our starting point (within psychology this is known as a formulation), and from here we will be able to identify further areas of therapeutic work, should you wish to continue your therapy journey.

Explore Your Emotional Experience In Relation To Feeding Your Baby

No matter how you are feeding your baby, different thoughts and feelings are likely to arise in you. I can provide space for us to explore your emotional experiences. For example, perhaps you are experiencing anxiety or body image concerns in relation to feeding your baby. An approach called CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) can be used to support you to manage thoughts and feelings. CBT has a good evidence base for reducing symptoms of anxiety and body image concerns.

We can also consider an approach called ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), where you can learn to accept your emotional experience as part of the journey. 

Explore Your Emotional Experience In Relation To Ending Your Breastfeeding Journey

Whether breastfeeding has come to an end sooner than you had hoped or you are wanting to end your breastfeeding journey (for whatever reason, and no matter what age your baby or child is), I can provide space for you to explore your feelings in relation to the ending of breastfeeding.

Take The Space And Time To Grieve The Infant Feeding Journey You Had Hoped For

When things do not go to plan with regards to infant feeding some mothers are left grieving the feeding journey they had wanted. We can take the space and time to enable you to grieve and heal from your infant feeding experience. 

Heal Past Traumas Relating To Infant Feeding Or Contributing To Current Difficulties With Infant Feeding

Traumatic and distressing memories can intrude into your current life and prevent you from living your life how you want. You might experience these memories through nightmares, intrusive thoughts or flashbacks, along with experiencing a range of emotions, including anxiety, depression and anger. 

Using either EMDR (Eye-Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) or TF-CBT (Trauma Focused Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) we can target specific memories that have caused trauma. This could be to help you heal from your traumatic infant feeding experience in the past (from a long time ago or more recently), or it could be to target traumatic memories that are impacting your current infant feeding experience. 

EMDR and CBT have a good evidence base for treating symptoms of trauma.

Find Ways Forward And Do What Matters For You

Following exploration of your feeding journey and working together therapeutically, we can then find meaningful ways forward for you. This could be with regards to your bond with your baby, child, or even adult child, or it could be finding meaning in other areas of your life. An approach called ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), which includes value-based living, can help you move forward towards living the life you wish to lead. 

​If you are having current difficulties with feeding your baby it is important that a feeding assessment is carried out to support with difficulties such as latching, positioning (if you are breastfeeding), and check for issues such as tongue-tie. This should be carried out by an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Some NHS trusts will employ an IBCLC. However, what is on offer tends to be variable between trusts. Alternatively, you can seek the support of an independent IBCLC (https://lcgb.org/). If your baby is gaining weight sufficiently, latching well and feeding is not painful for you (if you are breastfeeding) but you are struggling with psychological aspects of feeding your baby, please get in touch.

Possible areas of difficulty I can help you with:

  • Breastfeeding grief (no matter how long ago)

  • Breastfeeding trauma (no matter how long ago)

  • Managing thoughts and feelings relating to your feeding experience

  • Anxiety relating to infant feeding

  • Stress reduction/ relaxation exercises to support infant feeding

  • Body image difficulties impacting breastfeeding

  • Infant feeding psychological difficulties relating to birth trauma

  • Infant feeding psychological difficulties relating to medical conditions (yours or your baby's)

​​

It is possible that alongside the psychological impact of your infant feeding journey you are also experiencing other traumas or psychological difficulties, such as the impact of a traumatic birth or pregnancy. It is possible for us to work together on psychological difficulties that sit alongside or add to the wider context of infant feeding. 

 

If you are seeking psychological support for a problem relating to infant feeding that I have not mentioned on my website, please do get in contact as I may be able to help. 

​Although my specialty is infant feeding, I am also able to treat other trauma relating to the perinatal period, including birth trauma (even if there is no focus on infant feeding). Do get in touch if it feels like I could be a good fit for you. 

Meet me online for weekly or fortnightly psychology sessions.

Time Duration: 50 Minutes
Price: £135

Online Psychological Therapy Sessions’

Get In Touch

Please contact me via email harriet@thelactationpsychologist.com or by the contact form. I will respond via email and we will arrange a time to speak on the telephone prior to booking an appointment. I look forward to hearing from you.

The data obtained in this form is processed in line with our privacy policy

Instagram logo

 @the_lactation_psychologist

The Lactation Psychologist logo

The Lactation Psychologist is not a crisis service. If you are in a life threatening situation and cannot keep yourself safe please go to A&E. If you cannot get there safely call 999. 

HCPC logo
Breastfeeding friendly logo

Other Helpful Contacts

The Samaritans: 116123, jo@samaritans.org

Saneline: 0845 767 8000 (6pm-11pm)

Rethink: 0845 456 0455 (Monday-Friday, 10am-2pm)

Calm: 0800 58 58 58 (Everyday, 5pm-midnight)

Maytree: 020 7263 7070 (www.maytree.or.uk)

Text Shout to 85258 (24/7, www.giveusashout.org)

All rights reserved © 2024

bottom of page